These days, the smell of past is haunting me. Mostly, the bad ones.
Nightmares were lining up each night.
I went through my old paintings, maybe I could find something there.
A bad memory, unresolved problems, or stories without disclosure.
And I found this one from 2014.
That year was nothing meaningful for me, at least I thought so. But actually, it was a transition for bigger era in my life.
I’m dealing with anxiety back and forth, officially since 2017. But in 2019, the rainbows started to show up after my storm, and I was so proud, how stable my mental health is.
Until recently, it’s not. Though everything is totally manageable, I’m so curious… what hit my -so-steady-happy-good-looking-positive mental health state of mine. And as always, the more you think, the more it adds anxiety.
Back to this painting, I decided to recolor it. To do whatever pleased me. And I did, this…
I saw it… a blue shadow is following me.
Maybe… it’s the past.
Or maybe… just… something. And I’ll try to let it fade away, someday… somehow.
I did what I could, today. And that’s enough.